07 February 2009

Everybody Wants to be Italian? Not after this movie!


Everybody Wants to be Italian tries to be a good movie, but it simply fails. Yes, there were some funny jokes. Truly there were. But it also made me shudder. It was at times painful. And not in a good way. There are times when watching other films that I feel pain, but it's simply because those filmmakers were able for me to feel empathy with those characters and the situations in which they find themselves. Unfortunately it's not the case here. I felt sorry for these characters because the world that was created for them is one that makes them ethnic stereotypes; a world where the hero is supposed to be likable even though he refuses to believe that his ex-girlfriend could be married (with three kids) to someone else after breaking up eight years prior. It's bad because it reinforces the Hollywood myth that stalkers aren't stalkers just because they're good looking. I guess that his ex does like him chasing her, but who in their right mind wouldn't get a restraining order and some psychiatric help for this man after eight years of harassment? I know the filmmakers would say that this is where they lost me, and I tried to "go along for the ride." But no matter how likable this man it supposed to be, he has got to be "slow" or at least socially awkward. He takes a beautiful woman out on a date in a hooded sweatshirt, jeans, and a ball cap, and on top of that tries to order for her! Yes he is getting bad advice from his friends, but what they don't tell him to do, which he does, is tell the woman he has a girlfriend.

The idea is simple enough. Jake's friends, in order to set him up with Marisa, convince them both to attend an Italian singles party. The only problem is neither of them is Italian, yet they each think the other one is. It's not a completely horrible premise. It enough to provide for a "meet-cute" and for the basic problem in the relationship that must occur in a romantic comedy before they fall in love and stay together forever (ie, they both lied to each other and feel betrayed). But the tension added by Jake's ex-girlfriend and his refusal to give her up is contrived and too unbelievable. The tension comes to a head when his ex-girlfriend decides to leave her husband and go back to Jake (but only after he stops chasing her). Uh-oh.

The filmmakers say that the movie is at its core about Freud and psychology...about want and desires. It talks about transference and quotes Freud liberally. That's fine, but a film that wishes to explore humanity's deep hidden desires vis-à-vis relationship either needs to be hilarious or a drama. Unfortunately such a roller coaster of jokes that do hit and jokes and situations that just create a sense of pain because of how bad they are simply is not the right forum.

Unfortunately as well, if the film really does want to explore love, then perhaps it should portray it. You get the sense that the characters in the film know nothing about love. They are only physically attracted to each other and at no time get the sense that they truly have anything in common beyond the physical.

Finally, the music soundtrack is HORRIBLE. It only comes during the montages and the songs themselves are simply bad samples from an indie rock compilation CD.

Just about the only thing about this movie I liked was the beautiful Cerina Vincent. I feel that she's got some real talent and although she isn't up to the point where she can be a true leading lady just yet, she deserves some better writing to help her along. Maybe she won't ever be a leading lady, maybe she'll just be a character actress, but she still deserves a script that doesn't make you cringe.

Overall, I did find that some of the jokes were great and right on the mark. But the ethnic stereotypes (imagine a movie populated by Shylocks or Charlie Chans) and the parts of the movie that go beyond not working work like an anchor.

2.5/10, but probably rounded to a 3/10, and a D- on the grade.

The commentary is party devoted to slamming the critics of the film...not "The Critics," but just people who didn't like the movie in general. They claim that people were laughing in the screenings and that they don't get it how others can see the same movie and just have a complete opposite opinion. I don't know, but I suppose it's because he's focusing on the positives, whereas critics and people who don't like the movie in general can't forget the negatives.

And listening to the commentary, listening to the drivel between the director and his editor, they are wrong. Half of what they say works actually doesn't. It is almost as bad as the film, but that'd be difficult to pull off. Commentary gets a D/D+, other special features get a C.

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